cheesecake with huckleberry sauce

rowing up, I wasn't a cheesecake fan.  It might have had something to do with not liking cheese, especially melted cheese, and the idea of a cheese-cake just sounded gross to me.  My brother loved cheesecake, but I would have nothing to do with it.  In the past couple years I've come to like cheesecake, but I'd never made one before and had only really ever had store bought cheesecakes or cheesecake served as dessert at restaurants.  After picking a huge container of huckleberries, I decided that huckleberry cheesecake sounded pretty delicious and figured that it was as good a time as any to try my hand at baking a cheesecake!  I was a little nervous, as I'd heard cheesecake could be difficult, but it turned out so perfectly.  I wish I'd taken a photo of the top before I slathered it with cream topping, it was so smooth and gorgeous!  Maybe it was beginner's luck, but I'll take it.  I'm excited to have cheesecake in my (relatively limited) baking repertoire now!  
Perfect Cheesecake
(recipe via simplyrecipes)

Crust
2 cups Graham cracker crumbs
2 tbsp sugar
Pinch salt
5 Tbsp unsalted butter, melted

Filling
2 lbs (4- 8oz packages) cream cheese, room temperature
1 1/3 cup granulated sugar
Pinch of salt
2 teaspoons vanilla
4 large eggs
2/3 cup sour cream
2/3 cup heavy whipping cream

1.  The first step is to prepare your springform pan so that no water leaks into it while cooking. Take a large 18 by 18-inch piece of aluminum foil (don't try to get away with the smaller width of foil, it won't be big enough to go high enough on the sides of the springform pan and you'll end up with soggy crust), place the springform pan in the middle of the foil and fold up the sides of the foil around the pan making sure that you don't create any holes in the foil (again, water=soggy, ruined crust).  Press the foil around the edges of the pan and repeat with a second 18x18 inch square of foil. Press the top of the foil sheets around the top edge of the pan to secure.

If you want to easily remove the cheesecake from the bottom of the springform pan, before you put the foil on the sides, cut a slice of parchment paper a little larger than the size of the bottom of the pan.  With the sides off, place the parchment paper over the bottom of the pan and then secure the sides of the pan, so that the paper sticks out the bottom a bit.

2. Preheat oven to 350°F, with rack in lower third of oven.   To make the crust, pulse the graham crackers in a food processor or blender until finely ground. Put in a large bowl, and stir in the sugar and salt, then stir in the melted butter.

3. Pour the graham cracker crumb mixture in the bottom of the springform pan.  Using your hands, press down on the crumbs to form a nice even layer at the bottom of the pan (but be careful not to make any holes in the aluminum foil wrap).  Place in the oven for 10 minutes, then remove and let cool. Reduce the oven temperature to 325°F.

4.  Cut the cream cheese into chunks and place in the bowl of an electric mixer, with the paddle attachment (or grab a spoon and give your arm muscles a go). Mix on medium speed for 4 minutes until smooth, soft and creamy. Add the sugar, beat for 4 minutes more. Add the salt and vanilla, beating after each addition. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating for one minute after each addition. Add the sour cream, beat until incorporated. Add the heavy cream, beat until incorporated. Remember to scrape down the sides of the mixer bowl, and scrape up any thicker bits of cream cheese that have stuck to the bottom that the mixer has failed to incorporate.
 

5.  Place the foil-wrapped springform pan in a large, high-sided roasting pan.  I didn't have one so I just went to Safeway and grabbed one of those big, aluminum turkey pans in the baking aisle and it worked great and was cheap. Boil 2 quarts of water. Pour the cream cheese filling into the springform pan, over the graham cracker bottom layer and smooth the top with a spatula. Place the roasting pan with the springform pan in it, in the oven, on the lower rack, then carefully pour the hot water into the roasting pan, to create a water bath for the cheesecake, pouring until the water reaches halfway up the side of the springform pan.  Cook at 325°F for 1 1/2 hours.

6. Turn off the heat of the oven. Crack open the oven door 1-inch, and let the cake cool in the oven, as the oven cools, for another hour. This slow cooling will help prevent the cheesecake surface from cracking.

7.  Remove the cheesecake from the oven and water bath and tent the top of the cheesecake with foil, making sure it doesn't touch the top of the cheesecake. Chill in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours, or overnight.

Before serving, prepare the toppings for the cheesecake!  The options are kind of endless, but since I have tons of huckleberries in my fridge right now, a huckleberry cheesecake sounded perfect.

Cream Topping
2 cups sour cream
1/3 cup powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla

Place sour cream in a medium sized bowl, stir in the powdered sugar and vanilla, until smooth. Chill until you are ready to serve the cake.

Huckleberry Sauce
recipe via foodnetwork
2 cups huckleberries
1/3 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1 1/2 teaspoons water

In a saucepan over medium heat, add huckleberries, granulated sugar and lemon juice. Bring to a boil reduce heat and simmer for 5 to 8 minutes.

In a small bowl, combine the cornstarch and water. Slowly stir into the huckleberry sauce and heat until thoroughly combined and thickened.

To Serve:
Remove the cake from the refrigerator and remove the foil from the sides of the pan.  If you put parchment paper over the bottom of the pan, you should be able to easily slide the cake off the pan's bottom and onto whatever serving plate you'd like. Run a butter knife between the edge of the cake and the pan. Open the springform latch and slowly open the pan and remove the sides. Spread the top with the cream topping and drizzle with Huckleberry sauce.  You should have enough Cream and Huckleberry topping to add to slices, too, for extra decadence!

If you don't finish the whole cake, it freezes well so you can save it for later.  Or eat it for breakfast all week... I definitely didn't do that at all.  Nope.

diy gold glitter glasses

ometimes you find a pair of old glasses you never wear and decide they'd be way cooler as gold glitter glasses.  And you happen to have gold glitter, gold glitter paint, and gold marker.  A few hours later... voila!  I mean, come on.  What could be more fun than glitter glasses?  Well, besides pairing glitter glasses and a super colorful 

wig

, that is.  Sure they might not be practical for daily wear, but who cares?  A pink and purple wig isn't totally practical for daily wear either, but it's hella fun.  That's right, I just brought back "hella."  Deal with it.

Sure, you might not "need" a pair of glitter glasses, but it's a pretty quick and easy DIY that you can do in an afternoon and they'd be really fun for a photo shoot or photo booth.  If you don't have some spare glasses already, you can find some non-prescription glasses at Target, and thrift stores usually have quite an assortment of glasses as well.  This would also be an awesome DIY for a pair of sunglasses!

Materials:

Glasses

Gold marker

or nail polish

Glitter Paint

Glitter

Nailpolish Top Coat

1. Paint a base of gold, either with a gold nail polish or gold marker (or whatever color you want the base to be, depending on the color of glitter you're using).  Allow the base coat to dry completely, at least 30 minutes.  I only did the front portion of the glasses, not the sides, but if you want to do the whole glasses, go for it.  I'd recommend not doing the inside, though, since you won't see that when you're wearing it and it'd probably be scratchy.

2. Squirt out a glob of the glitter paint and shake some loose glitter into the glob and mix with a paintbrush.  Paint the glitter on as thick as you'd like.  I tried to cover the gold base as much as possible without it looking super globby.  Again, allow to dry completely.  I'd give it at least an hour.  Don't paint the glitter on the inside of the nose rest as it'd be super scratchy and uncomfortable to wear.  I just left that part with the gold base coat, sans glitter.

3. To really seal everything, paint a layer of nail polish clear coat over the whole glitter and gold layer. This will keep the glitter from flaking off and keep the gold base coat from rubbing off onto your skin.  Make sure it's completely dry before wearing!  I let mine sit overnight to make sure they were ready to wear.

coffee honey sugar scrub

e're coffee drinkers in my house, which means we end up with a lot of used coffee grounds.  I've been using a lavender coconut sugar scrub lately, but it's running low, so I thought I'd make one up using my excess coffee grounds!  A lot of people claim that coffee scrubs will reduce or eliminate cellulite, but I'm inclined to call bullshit on that.  Maybe, just

maybe

, it

slightly

reduces the appearance of cellulite, but I have no reason to believe that it does.  Also, for my thoughts on people who think we all need to remove every dimple of cellulite from it's existence on our bodies, just read

this

, because Amy pretty much summed it up.  But I digress.  I like coffee.  I like the smell of coffee.  Hence, I thought a coffee scrub sounded like a lovely and invigorating addition to my showers.

Even if coffee won't magically banish your dimply (glorious) thighs, it is awesome in other ways!  

 Coffee (obviously) contains caffeine which has anti-inflammatory properties that can help to heal skin and is also has lots of powerful antioxidants.  The abrasive texture of the coffee grounds and sugar sloughs off dead skin cells and gives your skin a fresh, radiant glow.  The coconut oil in this recipe is all kinds of awesome.  It has anti-bacterial, anti-microbial, anti-septic qualities, and can also soothe skin irritations and aid the healing process.  Adding essential oils is optional, but I wanted to throw some Tea Tree oil in mine because tea tree oil is pretty crazy awesome.  It's known for its antiseptic, anti-fungal, and infection-reducing benefits, has antibiotic properties

and

can help aid against ailments such as skin infections, rashes, burns, dandruff, the list goes on.  Seemed like an obvious choice to put in a skin scrub.  Lavender is also a great essential oil to use on the skin, but I was skeptical of how lavender and coffee would smell together.  But, hey!  I didn't try so maybe they'd be great!

Ingredients:

1 c coffee grounds

1 c sugar (for a more coarse scrub, use raw sugar)

1/2 c coconut oil

1 tbsp cinnamon

1 tsp nutmeg

2 tbsp raw honey

10-15 drops essential oil (optional, I used

Tea Tree Oil

)

Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly.  Scrub on to the skin in the shower and then rinse  If you're worried about your shower drain clogging, cover it with a coffee filter to catch the grounds.  Store in an airtight container, like a mason jar, and keep in a cool, dry place.  Makes about 16oz of scrub.

spectacle to behold

his outfit it a bit of a throwback.  Two or three years ago I was in the throes of my femme-twee phase, with lots of cute collars and vintage silhouettes.  It was my way of trying to find my personal style, reacting to the decade of jeans and t-shirts prior.  While I've settled back into a style I feel is a bit more casual than those twee-phase days, I still enjoy pulling out a little bit of twee now and again.  Even though I'm denying the fact that summer is waning, I'm already thinking about outfits making the transition to fall and how things can be layered and worn in cooler temps.  I think this dress will do nicely with a cardigan, belted, maybe a scarf, and tights.
Dan and I have been watching Arrow and when he saw me in this outfit he thought that I was channeling Felicity.  I wasn't consciously, but she is probably my favorite character on the show.  I think it might be the combo of the bun, lipstick, and glasses, now I just need a desk full of computers hacking into various government databases to complete the look.

 

dress/courtesy of modcloth :: shoes/courtesy of seychelles :: bag/courtesy of fossil lady tie/courtesy of flapper girl :: glasses/courtesy of bonlook

thoughts on ferguson as a white woman

hese past couple weeks have felt especially heavy.  With Ferguson, Gaza,  Robin Williams' passing, and the continuing conversation on rape culture that feels like it hits closer to home every day, the world has felt dark.  And as much as I love this online sanctuary as a place to escape all that, to hide from the horrifying comment sections on Facebook posts and news articles among pretty photos, in a way it feels disingenuous to keep posting cute outfits and recipes and DIYs while the world feels like it's crumbling right outside the walls of this safe, happy place.  I'm heartbroken by what is happening to my fellow humans in what feels like my backyard, right here in the United States where we're led to believe we're protected and safe.  As a white person, it often feels like I don't have a place in the conversation on race, and even if I did, what would I say? And if I did say something, what would it even mean?  I have privilege.  The other day one of my Facebook friends wrote this, and perfectly encapsulated so many thoughts I'd been having:

Tired of people commenting on posts about Ferguson, racism, etc and trying to say white privilege isn't a fair thing to say, I didn't ask for this skin color, I'm not rich, etc. White privilege isn't about that - we as white people do not have to worry about the things that black or brown people do. It's messed up and no you didn't ask for it but it's still a privilege. If we women say we are sick of living in a misogynistic world, no one gets to tell us we can't feel that way. Native Americans want the Redskins name changed because it is offensive to them - we need to change the fucking name and stop telling them they don't get to be offended. If black people are telling us they are scared of police and to let their kids out of their sight, we need to LISTEN. Stop telling them why they're wrong, or that everyone is making this about race, etc. LISTEN. Open your eyes. This is unfair and if you're saying anything less than "what can I do to help change it?" then you're consenting. Silence is worse.

I just can't believe in 2014 if people say to us, "I'm scared. I'm hurting. That offends me deeply." that you are going to argue that. We are all human beings. Come ON.

It made a connection that's been mulling around in my mind for a while.  There are so many similarities between how people respond to claims of misogyny and of racism.  When a woman is sexually abused, harassed, or raped, our culture asks, "Was she wearing revealing clothing?  Where was she walking?  Was she drunk?   Well, she was asking for it."  When a person of color is harassed, attacked (or worse, killed), or imprisoned, our culture asks, "Did he look suspicious?  Where was he walking?  Was he on drugs?  Well, he was asking for it."   And I think to myself that maybe she was drunk, in a mini skirt, walking in a dark alley, but she didn't deserve to be assaulted.  And maybe he was wearing a hoodie in the middle of the street, selling drugs, but he didn't deserve to die.


I know a lot of people are asking to "wait for the facts" in this case, but this is so much more than just one case of what may or may not have been an officer acting defensively.  It's not an isolated incident, just the straw that broke the camel's back in the struggle that so many people live with on a daily basis.

As a white person who has lived primarily among other white people her entire life, it's hard to know intimately the struggles of someone who experiences a radically different reality in the same community.  In the past six months I've tried explaining to some men what it's like to live as a woman.  I've noticed that it's almost painfully difficult for them to comprehend that, as women, we walk down the same streets, in the same cities, experiencing them in a completely different way.  And that's hard to understand.  You think you're experiencing the same thing, because technically you are living in the same space, but simply because of your gender, the reality is drastically different.

Another Facebook friend of mine recently shared a story of some frightening experiences with street harassment and posted:

Dear Men, it needs to stop. I have been minding my own business and been followed/cornered by men twice in the last two days and I'm pissed. It is unacceptable to stop a woman on a bike with a car and tell her, in more words, you want sex with her. It is unacceptable to stop, reverse, and drive down a different road to follow a woman on foot in your car. THIS BEHAVIOR IS SCARY. I am so sick of feeling like a prey animal. I'm tired of having to duck back into my home, lock the door, turn out the lights, and hide until some man has decided to stop stalking something he feels entitled to because he wants it.

In the comments, a guy both of us have known for years replied saying,

I agree, I'm tired of either sex being assholes. Believe me, it happens the other direction too and its very uncomfortable, especially when you are married!

This is a man who weighs probably near 200 lbs and is over 6 ft tall.  He works out daily, is a personal trainer, and is a very muscular.  I couldn't help but almost scream at my computer screen, "YOU ARE NOT IN FEAR FOR YOUR LIFE when girls ogle you at the gym.  Oh, it's 'very uncomfortable'? Really? really? You know what's 'very uncomfortable'?  Walking down the street, constantly making sure I'm not being followed because I'm afraid of being raped or attacked. Not because I'm married and it's awkward, but because I literally fear for my bodily safety."

It's hard for men, especially men who are good, not-all-of-us-are-like-that men, to understand what it's like to walk through the world possessing a vagina.  And why it's so painful when they tell us that sexism or misogyny doesn't exist.  Because we feel the weight of this unequal world and we've paid for it with our lives.  I want men to understand because I want them to advocate for women and stand up for us when they see sexism or harassment.  Because as men, they are in a position of power, and they can help change the world that is off balance.  And I want to be that advocate for people of color.  I can't tell them that racism doesn't exist because I walk through the world as a white person who doesn't have to experience it.  Of course I don't see racism, why would I?  It's not happening to me.  But as a woman I know that living in the same place doesn't mean experiencing the same reality.  Where I see a dangerous street with potential for a harassment or rape situation, men see a quiet sidewalk.  Where I see a cop pulling me over for a broken taillight, people of color may see a potentially vastly different scenario.


When I see my black Facebook friends who are mothers share their despair over teaching their sons to never walk in a store with their hands in their pockets for fear of being accused of stealing, or to avoid wearing hoodies, or to never argue with a police officer for fear of the situation escalating to the point of something fatal, I hear the same despair of mothers with daughters sharing the heartbreak of having to teach their girls how to avoid getting raped, how to diffuse situations with harassers, how to give fake numbers instead of just turning a man down for fear of it ending in violence.  And I know that I have to stand with my fellow humans who experience racism, because we're fighting the same battle.  We're fighting for equality, and maybe even more-so, to be heard and believed.  For the opportunity to walk through the world without fear.  For our stories to be legitimized and not discounted.  For our lives to matter.

So for now, I'm taking the time to listen.  I'm putting in the effort to hear the voices that desperately want to be heard and believed.  I know that I will never know what to do to help our world heal and balance without knowing the stories of real humans.  Instead of reading the he-said, she-said, wait-for-the-facts, arrest-the-officer, he's wrong, he's right articles flying around the internet and clogging my Facebook feed, I've been trying my best to listen to the stories of people sharing their truth.  I've been trying to step across the lines of color and stand beside a person of color to see the world from where they stand.  I've been listening to friends sharing their stories, reading articles from people of color describing their real experiences, and watching documentaries that expose how imbalanced and unjust our world truly is, especially here in the US.

When talking about issues like race or gender I often hear people say, "I can't believe XYZ is still happening in 2014!" and it reminds me of C.S. Lewis' term Chronological Snobbery, what he calls "the uncritical acceptance of the intellectual climate common to our own age and the assumption that whatever has gone out of date is on that account discredited."  We think that because we've got iPhones and the internet and can fly to the moon and cure diseases that we're the pinnacle of humanity.  We think that our government is the best one that ever existed, that we're the smartest people that have ever walked the earth.  And maybe we're some of those things, but we can't expect justice to ride on the shirt tails of our technological advances.  It's a constant battle, and one that we can't stop fighting just because we've made leaps in so many other areas.  Human lives are always the most important thing worth fighting for.

I believe that everyone should read M. Scott Peck's book The Road Less Traveled at least once, and in that book Peck talks about our worldview as being the map with which we travel through our world

...the biggest challenge of map-making is not that we have to start from scratch, but that if our maps are to be accurate we have to continually revise them. The world itself is constantly changing. Glaciers come, glaciers go. Cultures come, cultures go. There is too little technology, there is too much technology. Even more dramatically, the vantage point from which we view the world is constantly and quite rapidly changing. When we are children we are dependent, powerless. As adults we may be powerful. Yet in illness or an infirm old age we may become powerless and dependent again. When we have children to care for, the world looks different from when we have none; when we are raising infants, the world seems different from when we are raising adolescents. When we are poor, the world looks different from when we are rich. We are daily bombarded with new information as to the nature of reality. If we are to incorporate this information, we must continually revise our maps, and sometimes when enough new information has accumulated, we must make very major revisions. The process of making revisions, particularly major revisions, is painful, sometimes excruciatingly painful. And herein lies the major source of many of the ills of mankind. 

What happens when one has striven long and hard to develop a working view of the world, a seemingly useful, workable map, and then is confronted with new information suggesting that the view is wrong and the map needs to be largely redrawn? The painful effort seems frightening, almost overwhelming. What we do more often than not, and usually unconsciously, is to ignore the new information. Often this act of ignoring is much more than passive. We may denounce the new information as false, dangerous, heretical, the work of the devil. We may actually crusade against it, and even attempt to manipulate the world so as to make it conform to our view of reality. Rather than try to change the map, an individual may try to destroy the new reality. Sadly, such a person may expend much more energy ultimately in defending an outmoded view of the world than would have been required to revise and correct it in the first place.

I find that whenever I truly listen to the real life stories of other people, I'm required to revise my map.  Usually the changes are minor, here and there, but sometimes they are larger and take time to truly rewrite.  It takes effort and sometimes it's messy and painful.

I don't really care what you think about what's happening in Ferguson.  But if you do one thing, I ask that you listen.  Listen, not to find a pause when you can respond, refute, or agree.  Just listen.  Let the stories sink in and recognize that these stories are someone else's truth.  Someone else's life.  Someone else's sidewalk that maybe you walk down without a care in the world, but they walk down fearing for their safety or their children's safety.  Do your best to listen without judgement or preconceived beliefs.  Absorb their stories and allow them to challenge your worldview, and if necessary, change it.

Here are a few stories I've listened to recently, and if you have more stories to add, please list or link to them in the comments.  The more stories we listen to, the more complete and accurate our maps become, and the better able we are to advocate for people who need justice.

Dark Girls
The House I Live In
Reel Injun
The Loving Story
Shenandoah
The Central Park Five
The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975
On Recognizing my White Privilege as a Parent in the Face of Ferguson
On Race, the Benefit of the Doubt, and Complicity
Pay Attention to #Ferguson: Some Resources
In Which I Have a Few Things to Tell You About #Ferguson
12 Things White People Can Do
Reflections on #Ferguson

Photos by Scott Olson/Getty :: Charlie Riedel/AP