think spring

In the past year my style has changed pretty significantly.  A few of these outfits I definitely wouldn't wear this year, not because they are inherently bad or anything, just that my style is a bit different now.  But either way, these are a few of my favorite outfits from last spring.  Apparently I was all about polka dots and florals, but come on, they're so springy it's hard to resist them.  While my style this spring will be a bit different, I still think it's fun to go back and look at styles from previous seasons.  My favorites of all these are the top two outfits.  I actually still have almost all of these pieces, so maybe I'll remix them in a new and different way this spring.

Just today I hot a hankering to style up a wide brimmed hat, so maybe that element will make a return this spring.  My hat wearing this winter has been limited to beanies for the most part, but I do love me some hats.  Spring and summer are the perfect seasons for styling hats in fun ways.  I recently thrifted a new little hat (which I wore in my Remixology post), and I'm liking that one a lot.  Hats are perfect for those days where your hair is looking a little scraggly, but you're too lazy to wash it or do anything with it.  Throw a fabulous hat on: problem solved.  

more myself

Long hairs!  I've been wanting to try out extensions for a while but haven't taken the plunge until now.  I like my hair at its current length, but every once in a while I miss doing big braids or other do's that require longer hair.  These extensions aren't a perfect match, the color is too dark (I didn't realize how red my tips were!  I photoshopped these images so it didn't look so weird, but I literally have redhead-red hair on my tips!), and they're not as curly, coarse, or thick as my hair, but they're pretty fun!  After I took these photos I went home and put it into a big fishtail braid, which I haven't been able to do for over a year!  My hair is long enough to kind of braid, but they're mostly just stumpy silly looking braids at the moment.  It's definitely fun to have long hair again, though.  When I cut my hair short it was the shortest it's been since I was a little kid, and growing it out has taken longer than I anticipated.  I'm finally feeling really comfortable and "myself" with it at its current length.  I didn't think it looked bad when it was shorter, but I'm enjoying it much more these days.  

top + jeans/courtesy of modcloth :: boots (similar)/target shades (similar)/vintage :: hair extensions/courtesy of vpfashion
I feel like I'm finally reaching a point where my style is feeling more "myself" as well, these days.  If I look at pictures of my style from this time last year I was still dressing in a pretty girly way, with lots of dresses and florals, but I remember feeling a bit like a hermit crab who was about to outgrow its shell.  I was feeling a shift in my style but wasn't entirely sure as to what I was shifting towards.  I feel a lot more comfortable in my second skin this spring than I have probably in the last six months, maybe more.  This outfit is absolutely a departure from what I wore last spring, but I really like this funky little look.  When I first pulled this shirt out of the package I was planning on returning it, but then I left for Juneau and by the time I got back I figured it was too late to return anyhow and decided to give it a go. After wearing it, I really like it!  And I can see myself remixing it a few times at least, which makes it a good top in my book.  Plus, it's light and sheer, which will be great for summer.  I've been all about sheer tops lately, and this is my second one this season, so I'm predicting a trend.

remixology // no. 1

As someone who loves remixing, I'm always up for a fun little challenge when it comes to looking at my clothes in new and creative ways.  I've enjoyed remix posts like Elsie + Emma's and Rebecca's, and while I've been doing Remix Archives posts for a while, I thought I'd mix up the remixing a bit and add in more of a challenge.  I was inspired by Elsie + Emma's remix posts and figured I'd give a little remix challenge a go!

For this remixology challenge I took four pieces from my closet and paired them with four items courtesy of Lulu's and created eight outfits out of those eight pieces.  Some of the pieces turned out to be a bit more challenging to remix than I had anticipated, but I had a lot of fun figuring out how to make things work!  I definitely want to do more remixology challenges, maybe I'll make it a monthly project.  I teamed up with Haley Hickman to do the photos for this remixology, and it was really fun to work with another photographer.  We had a blast and already have some other fun shoots planned.

The four pieces from my closet are a striped top, galaxy skirt, faux leather jacket, and heart top.

The four pieces from Lulu's are a white top, a black cutout dress, an obey tank top, and green polka dot jeans.

I accessorized the look with: black tights, quartz necklace, black boots, orange and blue heels, white beanie, blue hat, and yellow and green heels.



outfit #1: top + hat/thrifted :: tights + skirt + shoes/courtesy of modcloth outfit #2: top + tights + skirt + tights + shoes/ courtesy of modcloth  outfit #3: jacket/courtesy of asianicandy :: top/courtesy of lulu's :: skirt + tights/courtesy of modcloth :: shoes/payless
This galaxy skirt was pretty much born to be remixed, so I paired it with three different tops.  One of these looks is pretty much the same as this outfit, so I cheated a bit and added the green cardigan to show it a bit different.  Since the skirt is so bold, I noticed I tended to style it with black and white.  This white top is simple, but the subtle design on the front adds a little interest.  I think out of all the outfits in this remixology, though, the outfit with the striped top, galaxy skirt and hat is my favorite!  The top was a thrifting find and it's been part of some of my favorite recent outfits!  
 
outfit #4: top + dress/courtesy of lulu's :: tights/courtesy of modcloth  boots/target :: hat/the north face outfit #5: dress + shoes/courtesy of lulu's :: skirt/courtesy of modcloth outfit #6: dress/courtesy of lulu's :: tights/courtesy of modcloth :: shoes/payless jacket/courtesy of asianicandy
The foundation for these three outfits is a sexy little black dress with some fun cutouts at the waist.  Since I've been working out more, showing a little midriff skin isn't quite as intimidating, so I thought I'd try it out.  On its own, as in outfit #6, it's a sexy little number for a night out.  It's surprisingly versatile, though!  I toughened it up a bit and made it more casual by adding boots, a knotted tank, and beanie, and I think that might actually be my favorite outfit created with this dress!

 

outfit #7: top + shoes/courtesy of modcloth :: jeans/courtesy of lulu's outfit #8: jacket/courtesy of asianicandy :: top/thrifted :: jeans/courtesy of lulu's :: boots/target
These jeans were just too much fun to pass up.  They sit a bit higher on the waist than regular low-rise jeans, which is nice.  They matched the color of the blue in my heels almost perfectly, which was a fun surprise!  I've already styled these jeans a third way in the past week, so that'll be on the blog soon too.  I've been enjoying more graphic prints these days, rather than florals and the like, and I'm definitely loving the neon trend that's happening this spring.  Pops of graphic, bright colors, rather than florals, are going to be my spring go-to this year.  

candid thoughts on modesty

Lately the concept of modesty has been on my mind.  I don't think about modesty on a daily basis these days, as modesty isn't something I strive for when I'm getting dressed, but the idea of modest dressing seems to be brought up whenever the topic of rape is brought up, which it has been quite a bit with recent current events.  So thoughts on modesty have been ruminating in the back of my mind for a while and they bubbled to the surface a few nights ago as I lay in bed unable to sleep.  Prepare yourself for a novel because I had lots of stuff bubbling up.

When I was in high school modesty was something I thought about a lot more.  It was a conversation in school relatively frequently as we had a dress code.  It was a pretty lax dress code, not really to much more strict than any of the public high schools.  We didn't have to wear uniforms or slacks and turtlenecks or anything.  Living in Alaska, it wasn't really that hard to abide by the dress code, for me at least.  There was no way in hell I was going to try and wear a mini skirt and tube top when the weather outside was below zero.  There were a few girls who tended to dress more in that mode, however, and would frequently have to change their outfits to fit the dress code.  Guys also had a dress code, though I believe it was more about not having explicit/inappropriate designs on their tee shirts.  I was never really influenced by the dress code, as I didn't have a desire to dress in a way that broke the dress code anyway, but conversations about modesty and such were frequent due to the dress code and my thoughts about modesty have been percolating ever since.  More and more I'm coming to believe that modesty, as a value, can be particularly harmful to girls for many reasons.


Lately I've seen that putting an emphasis on modesty can contribute to rape culture by placing the blame on women for men's lack of self control (though I would argue most rape isn't due to the rapist being too sexually overwhelmed to hold back, though perhaps in some date rape cases, but more due to violence and power).  When we hear about a rape, one of the first questions asked is, "well, what was she wearing?  Was it promiscuous?  Was it immodest?" as if her rape was predestined by her predilection for wearing revealing clothing.  Essentially, "She was asking for it," because of her revealing outfit.  While it may be the case that dressing in a revealing way might draw the eye of a rapist, it does not release the rapist of full culpability for the crime.  Girls that dress immodestly are no more deserving of being raped than girls who are covered head to toe.  No one deserves to be raped, regardless of how they are dressed.



On the flip side, emphasizing modesty tends to villainize men.  It paints men as sexual beasts who are unable to control themselves if there's cleavage in their immediate vicinity.  While I do know that teenage boys are definitely struggling to come to terms with a flood of hormones and overwhelming sexual desire, when we tell them that it's not their problem to overcome- rather it's the woman's problem to cover up- it tells them it's not important to develop the ability to restrain their eyes and thoughts.  It also feeds the lie that men are only interested in your body, and tells girls that their most valuable asset is their bodies, despite the fact that dressing modestly is supposed to take the focus off of their bodies, which it certainly can.

In the same way, it downplays the importance of the beauty of a woman's body by turning it into a taboo, rather than a beautiful creation to celebrate.  We naturally feel shame about our bodies when we are told we need to cover them up.  We don't view our bodies as amazing and beautiful, but rather something shameful that needs to be hidden from sight.  This undermines girls' understanding of healthy sexuality and sensuality.  Confusion is added by the phrase, "modest is hottest" which doesn't seem to be the case when the evidence shows that what's hottest is often the exact opposite of modest.  It's a nice thought, but in reality doesn't really play out like that.  It gets even more confusing when you get married and all of a sudden you're supposed to embrace your sexuality and your body is supposed to switch from being an object of shame to something beautifully pleasurable for both you and your partner.

For even more added confusion, modesty is hyper subjective.  What's modest for a girl in public high school isn't the same as for a girl in a private catholic school which isn't the same for a girl in an Amish community.  What's considered modest in a hot climate is different than what's modest in a cold climate. There isn't a hard and fast definition out there for what is modest.  It's an opinion that not only differs from culture to culture, but from person to person, dramatically.  And to complicate matters more, women's bodies are so radically different from one woman to the next that an outfit on one girl may be "modest" but the same outfit on another girl with a different body could look totally "immodest."

Modesty can create a space where judging immodest girls is okay and paints them all as sluts or sexually promiscuous.  It places low value on them automatically because there's no way "immodest" can be painted in a positive light.  It is a negative word by design.  Girls who dress modestly can start to acquire a sense of superiority and look down on the "slutty" immodest girls.  And really, what does that accomplish, other than creating pain, anger, and separation?  Does that attitude make the "immodest" girl want to listen to the opinion of the "modest" girl and become more modest?  I'm going to guess that if you feel judged by another person, you probably want nothing to do with them, much less sit and listed to them talk about how you need to change your ways and be more modest like them.  When an environment of judgement is created, relationships are broken and open discussion is almost impossible.  When we approach one another with respect and seek understanding, doors are opened.


I don't want to throw the baby out with the bathwater, though.  I think that modesty, while it's complex and often gets mixed up with a bunch of other issues, has value, especially for younger girls in junior high and high school.  It's important to communicate that you shouldn't have to show cleavage or wear a short skirt to get a guy's attention.  Your body is NOT your most important asset.  We place a lot of importance on bodies in our culture, which is evidenced by the epidemic of eating disorders.  There is so much shame and guilt surrounding our bodies, as women.  But a relationship shouldn't be based on your body or how "hot" you are, because a lasting relationship is ultimately going to rely very little on your hotness factor.  There are so many mixed messages in our culture about sexuality.  Victoria Secret ads and modern pornography tell us that we need to look a certain way to be sexually attractive and that if we don't look that way, our man will leave us for someone who does.  We need to stop talking about our bodies in that way, and start talking about them in a new way.  Our bodies are beautiful and incredible.  They are curvy and strong, naturally sensual, capable of producing life itself!  Even down to the amazing functions our bodies perform second by second, our bodies are so much more than flat abs and perky boobs.  Modesty is a damaged word with a lot of confusing messages.  More straightforward is the message that you are worthy of love, love that isn't conditional on hotness, that your body is a beautiful thing that is desirable and powerful, and that a relationship should have a much stronger foundation than physical attraction.

High school is such a strange time of trying to navigate the waters of understanding beauty, love, sexuality, and relationships.  In high school I remember I wouldn't wear makeup in because i didn't want a boy to like me because of my make-upped appearance, only to be disappointed by my bare face (and I was too lazy to wake up earlier than necessary...).  When I went to college I started becoming more creative in the way I dressed, and started wearing a little makeup.  Not because I figured it would make me more apt to land a man, but because I liked wearing it.  It made me feel beautiful, not for men, not for women, but for me.  It wasn't about covering up flaws and hiding myself.  I didn't care if an outfit was immodest to some, because I wasn't dressing for anybody but myself.  I found that wearing makeup and getting dressed was something that made me feel creative and happy.  It was a way to express my personality in a visual way.  I wish I could've seen getting dressed that way when I was in high school.

Sexuality is already so confusing as a teen.  So much weight is on the issue, and I think girls feel most of that weight, especially considering that sexuality for a girl involves that whole baby-making thing.  Girls deal with the stress of balancing between "prude" and "whore," something men by and large have no issue with.  Modesty is often one more weight that is placed on girls, shouldering them with the task of keeping not only themselves sexually safe, but keeping boys from even thinking about them in a sexual way.  I not only have to manage my own thoughts and feelings about sex and my body, but I'm given the task of keeping the thoughts of men around me on the straight and narrow as well.  Instead of stressing modesty, perhaps stressing responsibility is more appropriate.  Responsibility, not only for girls, but for boys as well.  Responsibility for your actions, your thoughts, your appearance, your attitude, and your speech.

only a lifetime

I'm back home, despite these photos' deceptive location.  I'm not sure when I'll have another excuse to go up to Juneau, so I'm glad I got some photos on the beach.  I think these types of beaches are so much more interesting than sandy, tropical beaches, though the latter are much more appropriate for sunbathing.  Tacoma has a couple similar, albiet less rural, beaches (like the one where we took our wedding photos and where I did these family portraits), but it's so much more work to get in the car and drive there, than just walk a hundred feet out the back door.
It's good and weird to be home.  Like a good procrastinator I haven't done our taxes yet, so I'm only slightly freaking out about tackling that project.  It looks like we've got a couple sunny days this week, so I really want to finish painting the house, too.  It's gonna be a busy two weeks! dress/courtesy of lace affair :: top (similar) + belt/thrifted :: cardigan (similar)/gap boots (similar)/target :: necklace/courtesy of moorea seal tights/courtesy of the stylish fox :: jacket/courtesy of asianicandy I am glad I got to go up and spend a week with my grandparents as an adult.  It's definitely a different experience talking to and hanging out them as a grown up.  Since they lived a plane ride away, we always were with my parents when we visited them, even when I was older.  I know a lot of people are closer with extended family members and grandparents because they live close by.  Dan's Aunt and Uncle are grandparents and it's so cool to see how often they get to see their grandkids.  I know my mom wants to be nearby whenever Dan & I end up having kids (oh, btw if you didn't see, my pregnancy announcement today was an april fools...no baby on the way!).
My grandma has kept so many things from their life together.  She has boxes full of letters, from friends, family, and my grandpa.  My grandpa commercial fished for over 50 years, which meant that he was gone for summers, and would write her letters.  I read a few, trying to get an idea of what they were like when they were younger and in love.  I saw one letter that he signed, "love forever, Martin" and I teared up thinking about how he really has.  They've been married for almost 62 years.  They can barely hear each other and argue a lot (mostly because they can't hear each other), but when they said love forever, they meant it in a way that is more moving now at 92 years old than any emotional, romantic love story.  We tend to think of love stories as these great sweeping romances filled with passion and sensuality, but that's such a limited, stunted, and damaging way to view love.  I can only hope, and work as hard as I can, to have a love like theirs.  Not a love remembered by crazy, wild passion (though that's nice too), but a love remembered by devotion so deep it can only be expressed over a lifetime.